When I found out I was pregnant I put on the burden of motherhood. It was light then, I could go about my day without being weighed down by it. As Livia grew, so did it, it became heavier, it made it harder for me to move around, both literally and figuratively.
After her birth it was suffocating. The first weeks with a newborn are hard: little sleep occurs, diaper pails overflow and feedings stretch for hours. And all of this on top of recovering from what is, at best, equivalent of running a marathon and at its worst major surgery. I remember feeling trapped by early motherhood. I remember crying in the shower one day during her first week mourning my pre-baby life. I desperately loved Livia, but I wasn’t sure if I made a terrible mistake bringing a child into my life. I cried when the sun went down because I was exhausted but knew I would get maybe an hour or two of sleep between feedings. There was a heaviness in those early days I couldn’t shake. Continue reading “When Motherhood is Heavy”→
Before Livia was born, heck even before I knew I was pregnant, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed. My initial goal was until six months, exclusive or not, but as her arrival came closer I knew that I wanted to exclusively breastfeed until six months and continue until she was a year old. Now that she is eight-months-old, I’m definitely considering to nurse her until she self-weans or another baby comes into the picture (tandem breastfeeding, to me, is like the gold medal of the breastfeeding Olympics). When she was eight-weeks-old, however, I had to go back to work, so on that January morning I packed my Medela Pump In Style Advance, tubing and parts and headed off to the next leg of our breastfeeding journey. Five months later, I’m still pumping three times a day and getting enough milk that I’m won’t have to supplement with formula anytime in the near future. Continue reading “What’s In My Pump Bag”→
Those early weeks of motherhood are rough. Livia had her days and nights mixed up for a few days and postpartum hormones will do a number on you (especially if you aren’t prepared for them). In those early days I definitely had a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding. Livia wanted to eat all the time – which is normal, but that doesn’t make it any easier to be up for hours at a time in the middle of the night. Thankfully, the hard part ended by the time she was six weeks old and it became second nature. Continue reading “Breastfeeding Essentials for the Early Weeks”→
Hey there! I know that the days seem so long and December seems so far away. But, I promise you the next twenty weeks will go by unimaginably fast. I remember how scary those last few weeks before viability were – the nightmares, the constant worry when the baby wasn’t moving the same as they had been the day before – especially now that you’ve had the big anatomy ultrasound and everything looked perfectly healthy. I know you are still questioning if being surprised by the baby’s gender was the right decision, and I want to let you know that is 100% the right decision. There is nothing like hearing Douglas proclaim, “It’s a girl,” in the delivery room, oh, that’s right, the baby you are carrying in your womb is a spunky red-headed little girl, just like the one you’ve seen in your dreams.